Exhibit A

This is Exhibit A in a mountain of evidence that testifies to my time management problems.  You've heard of delusions of grandeur?  I have the lesser known condition that might be termed delusions of capacity.  Why, I must ask myself, do I take on such projects that matter not an iota in the grand scheme of things?

Tomorrow is the 100th day of school at my daughter's elementary school.  To celebrate, the teachers and administrators have contrived all sorts of activities, many of which unfortunately require extensive effort from time-strapped parents like me.  Gather and bring to school 100 coins.  Bring a donation of socks for soldiers.  Bring 100 snacks to share.  And -- the biggie -- bring a shirt decorated with 100 items.  Why didn't I do something easy like puffy paint a shirt with 100 dots/blobs?  Instead, I waited until the last minute (when it was too late to go to any store to purchase supplies for this ill-fated project) and then had to look around at what I could use that I already have.

Then I had the brilliant idea to sew 100 flower beads onto my daughter's shirt.  How long can it take (I asked myself)?  Let me tell you; I know it doesn't look like it, but it can take a LONG TIME.  Especially if you're as domestically challenged as I am.  And was my daughter thrilled and appreciative when she saw me laboring with needle and thread while simultaneously making (burning) dinner with a screeching toddler attached to my leg?  No.  "I wanted 100 bird feathers," she said.  No response from me.

The worst thing about these sorts of projects is that you get about half way through and realize you've made a terrible mistake, but it's too late to abandon ship.  Instead, you must push on, vowing never to repeat your foolishness.  But I always do.

I'm going to start right now with a mantra for February:  "Step away from the craft paper.  Put down the glue -- and the glue gun too.  Do not attempt to make hand-made Valentines.  I repeat, do not attempt it.  That choice only holds frustration and regret.  Buy the cheap Disney Princess Valentines and call it good."