Wednesday's Word -- Encourage

Fortitudo by Botticelli

I'm not afraid to admit it.  I'm an introvert.  And I have two daughters who are too.  Ironically, I expend all sorts of effort trying to encourage them toward extroversion.  In truth, I don't know that you ever transform an introvert into an extrovert, bibbety bobbity boo.  Some pumpkins are just pumpkins.  

Despite the coaching I impose on my daughters, though, introversion is not a disease.  In many important ways, it's an asset.  While I don't expect (or even really wish) to change them, I do very much want to instill a confidence in them that the world can't shake.  When the moments call for it, I want them to stand up, and speak with strong, intelligent voices.  That ability can indeed be nurtured and developed.

So the word I'm thinking about today (with daughters braving the back-to-school world) is:

Encourage

This is one of my favorites, because it's the kind of word that you've seen and used countless times, but yet you've probably never really seen it for what it is.  Break it apart.  It is en and courage.  The prefix en means in or within.  The word courage means the state or quality of mind or spirt that enables one to face danger or fear with self-possession, confidence and resolution.   Courage comes from the Indo-European root kerd, meaning heart.  So, to encourage means to instill courage (or heart) in another person.  And on the flip-side, to DIScourage means to take it out.

In a real sense, that is what a parent tries to do for a child -- to pour heart into that child until it overflows as goodness, kindness and virtue, and the child can face all manner of dangers with a self-possession that shines like a well-polished shield.   

Advice to Self

Today, I found myself thinking about this clipping on my bulletin board at work.  It's been hanging there for 10 years now, and I don't think I've looked at it in maybe 5.  I found it underneath other notes, quotes, and cartoons I've tacked up over the years.  

This bulletin board reminder to myself is particularly sweet, though, because of the words from the newspaper "In Memoriam" piece, and because a friend (Mariette) (a) was thoughtful enough to photocopy the article and give it to me with her handwritten note (so faded it's hard to read now); and (b) because she thought (based on what she knew of me) that these "principles of life" would resonate with me.

I'm particularly fond of #2:  "Don't take yourself or your problems too seriously.  If you do this, instead of being the 'specter at the feast,' you'll be constantly sought out even as you're passing away."  What I like is that image of a "specter at the feast."  A specter (sometimes spelled "spectre") is an apparition, a ghost.  The specter at the feast is "something or someone that spoils your enjoyment by making you remember something unpleasant."  In two words:  stop complaining.  

Here are a couple of questions for you to think about (because I'm thinking about these questions myself):  (1) Do you act like the specter at the feast of life?  Are you spoiling your own joy or the joy of others?  (2) When was the last time you were thoughtful enough to clip out an article and send it to someone because you thought that person would appreciate it or because reading it made you think of that person?  

Mariette's birthday is this week.  I haven't seen or talked to her in years, but I think I'll clip something she might like and send it along.  Maybe it will add some joy to her feast.       

Potential {and a little request}

Hello there.  My photo "Potential" is a finalist in a little photo contest over at the Bloom blog (which is a great blog, by the way).

This cactus jumped out of nowhere from the side of a busy desert road--unintended, untended and beautiful. 

It made my day. 

To me, this image is a reminder that even under the prickliest of circumstances, 

all things--including cacti and people like you and like me--have BLOOM potential.

I'd love it if you'd take a minute to click over and vote for my photo.  The winner will be determined based on votes cast through the weekend.  Thanks!

From the Mouths of Babes

I asked my 7-year-old and five-year-old, along with a couple of their friends, what they know about Martin Luther King Jr.  Here's what they had to say:

He was a king.

He gave a great speech.

He was shot in the leg.

He went to jail.

He got upset because only white people could drink from the good drinking fountains.

He had a dream that white people would be nice to black people.

He made a difference in the world.

Not all of their information is accurate, but they got the main point right.