Wednesday's Word -- Virtual

I was struck today by how virtual my life is.  I can't even count how many meetings (most of them telephonic and/or by live web meeting) I packed into my day today (all before zooming off at 2:45 pm to pick up my kids).  My common refrain throughout my days is "I could meet between X and Y, but I'm booked with meetings after Z."  (I will admit here that at least some of my "meetings" are with three little, but very demanding people, aka my children.)  As I was sitting in one of the meetings (a 7 a.m. conference call with a client's employees located on several different continents), I decided on the word "virtual" as my word for the day.

Virtual is an adjective meaning "being such in force or effect, though not actually or expressly such"; "temporarily simulated"; a "mirror" image.  The word virtual tends to be used in reference to things that mimic their "real" equivalents.  My favorite definition is this:

"That which is not real,
but may display the salient qualities of the real."  

This makes me think of Shakespeare's Macbeth:

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale 
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

So many of the things I concern myself with on a day-to-day basis are only pretending to be real, displaying the salient qualities of the real -- a walking shadow.  (By the way, "salient" is a cool word too.  It means "prominent or conspicuous," but also means "leaping or jumping."  I like to visualize aspects of my life leaping and jumping about in urgency, pretending to be important when they actually are not.)

Breaking the word "virtual" down, it comes from the word "virtue" and the Latin virtus, meaning "excellence, potency, efficacy."  Virtue means "conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles."  Just as a virtual reality doesn't match true reality, our conduct usually doesn't match the "virtue" we aspire to.  Interestingly, the word virtue comes from an Indo-European root meaning "man."  So virtue is literally "manliness, manhood."  (Brings new meaning to Proverbs 31:10:  "Who can find a virtuous woman?  For her price is far above rubies," doesn't it?)  


With all this etymological information to consider, my bottom line thought is this.  I want to spend more of my life living in the real and not in the substitute for the real.  And I'm not really talking about living immersed in technology instead of in actual life (although that's also a very interesting topic.  Just think of all the teenagers who won't have the social skills to converse with a real live person because they were too caught up "speaking in thumbs" with their text messaging . . . .)  


My point is much simpler.  Too often, I appear to be in the moment, but am not.  I am a player, strutting and fretting my hour upon the stage.  This applies to all my roles and responsibilities, in all my spheres, but particularly to my home life.  When I'm with my children, I want to be with my children.  Less virtual mom, and more real and present mom.  Easier said than done, when all the "salient qualities of the real" won't leave you alone!