Wednesday's Word -- Deliberately

I left home at the age of sixteen.  My family was away that day at a church Memorial Day picnic that I refused to attend.  I packed some food and left a note that simply said:  “I’ve gone to the woods to live deliberately.”*  (I had been reading Thoreau’s Walden and was enamored then (as I am now) with the idea of “living deliberately.”)  It wasn’t difficult to find the woods.  I grew up in northeastern Ohio, and the trees were everywhere.  The challenge was living deliberately—or living on my own at all for that matter.  I did go to the woods, but of course I came back.  I think I stayed away for a whole eight hours.  


Upon my return, did they kill the fatted calf to celebrate the return of the prodigal daughter?  (See, I still insist on misusing this word a bit.)  No.  Were they wringing their hands with worry?  No.  I found my note on the counter with my mother’s simple retort:  “Don’t be so cryptic.”  I had to look “cryptic” up in the dictionary.  I clearly wasn’t ready to live on my own.  Grown ups don’t have to come home for dinner, and they certainly don’t have to look up words like “cryptic” in the dictionary.  


*As Thoreau put it:  “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”  I know, I was a melodramatic teenager.  

So, the word for today is one of my all-time favorites:

Deliberately

Deliberate comes from the Latin delibero, which means "I consider, weigh well."  It is related to libra, which is a balance.  I just discovered this link through my research today and think it fitting that I was born with the astrological sign of Libra, with the zodiac symbol of the scales.  I'm not one to pay much attention to astrology, but this somehow pleases me.  (I also happen to be a lawyer and have always liked the symbol of the scales of justice.)

If you do something deliberately, you do it on purpose.  You consider.  You ponder.  You ponder some more.  You carefully weigh the consequences before you act.  If you are deliberate, you are not sudden or rash.  Like a jury deliberating to reach a verdict, you consider the evidence and try to do the right thing.

This word describes both my best and worst tendencies.  A desire to be more observant of the details in my life rather than living on autopilot, paired with a desire to stop measuring my life in coffee spoons.

But back to Thoreau.  A web search for deliberate living mostly pulls up information about people trying to recreate Thoreau's experience at Walden Pond to some extent.  These people tend to grow their own food and make their own clothing, and often seem to shun modern conveniences.  Don't get me wrong.  I respect that lifestyle and ingenuity.  But personally, I think I should be able to live deliberately and still shop at Nordstrom (or wherever).  Deliberate is not sequestered.  Deliberate is not impoverished.  Deliberate does not require woods.

Deliberate pays attention to the drive to work, 

rather than pulling out of the driveway and then suddenly finding herself in the parking garage.

Deliberate takes time to read and think and write things that are not required,

instead of spending all her time on things that may be required but bring no joy.

Deliberate pays attention to people she cares about,

rather than hoping they just know.

Deliberate counts her blessings,

instead of her challenges.                  

So, here's to learning what life has to teach.